Duty Towards Parents

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

"Reciting Salawath on our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is an activity that will be accepted by Allah, even if we don't have Ikhlas (piety)".

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The Quran delcares: And do good to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (even) uff, nor them and speak to them generous words. And make yourselves submissively gentle to them with compassion and say: O my Lord! Have mercy on them as they brought me up when I was an infant – 17:23, 24 Q. Thus it is seen that a great stress has been laid by the Quran regarding obedience to Parents. In Islam, next to the duty of god comes duty towards parents. Parents are the immediate cause of our birth and without them; we could not have seen the light of the world. Where were we in our infancy and where would we have been now had the parents not take sincere care of us? We would have been in their absence left to the mercy of the wind, sun and rain. How patiently parents bear all sorts of hardships, and how joyfully to they sacrifice their comfort in improving children. They spare no pains in procuring food for them, and they acquire the vices of hoarding wealth only for their subsequent use and comforts? For all these reasons, the duty to parents has been placed by the Quran and Hadis next to the supreme duty towards Allah.

Among parents, mother’s place of respect of obedience has been placed much above father, as mother shares the major portion of privation for the infant child. The Quran says: And we have enjoined on man the doing of good to his parents. With trouble did his mother bear him and with trouble did she bring him up, and the bearing of him and weaning of him was 30 months. – 46:15 Q. And we have enjoined man in respect of his parents. His mother bears him with fainting upon fainting and his weaning takes two years – saying: Be grateful to Me and both your parents – 31:14 Q. The Prophet said the Paradise lies near the feet of a mother and the most unfortunate man is he who does not enter Paradise though he has got old parents at home. No Muslim is allowed to join the battlefield without mother’s permission. It has been spoken of as better then Jihad. Paradise becomes even unlawful for disobedience to parents. Disobedience is a great sin. Long life can be gained only by obedience to parents.

How to be obedient to Parents? It consists in maintaining them, giving them gifts and presents, speaking gentle and loving words to them at every time and taking their permission when going to abroad. If they want us to divorce our wives, we should do it. Obedience to parents does not finish as soon as they are dead. We should pray to Allah for them and ask forgiveness. A Muslim should always pray: O Allah, forgive me and my parents. Children should fulfill the promises made by their parents, honour their friends and relations and give charity in their names.

Maintenance of Parents. Children is solvent circumstances are bound to maintain their poor parents, although they are able to earn something for themselves; and the children in indigent circumstances also are bound to maintain their poor parents and not those who are solvent. Difference of religion does not absolve children from the obligation of maintaining parents. Maintenance of the parents of an absentee may be divided out of his effects. Here parents include paternal and ancestral grandfather and grandmother (Hedayah)

Fruits of obedience in their direction. Obedience to parents is seed which spring forth the great obligation of obedience to all constituted authority. Parents sincerely wish for the welfare of their children. The refractory children can never make progress as they do not observe the rules of home which is the nursery of all possible virtues. It also implies obedience to Allah and His Apostle. The first impression received in early age cannot be overthrown in after life very easily. It is therefore said that a child is born in natural faith (Islam) till his parents make him a Christian, a Jew or a Magician.

Parents when to be disobeyed. Duty towards the Almighty is greater than that towards parents. So when there arises a conflict between the two duties, the latter be scarified in preference to the farmer as Abraham did in case of his father. The Quran says: And if they (parents) contend with you that should set up a partner with one of whom you have no knowledge, disobey them, keep kind company with them in this world – 29:8 Q, 31:15 Q. Even in this case, parents are to be shown kindness, honour and respect. When a father or relation is an open enemy of Islam, he must not be obeyed.